Dear Blank Please Fill

I stumbled upon this site this weekend. I find it it quite entertaining, in fact I can even state it is the second coming of the FML website if I do say so myself. This website is called Dear Blank Please Fill. Pretty much it is a honest and raw statement you can say in letter form. Does that make sense?

I though it might be funny to find some wedding inspired  Fill in the Blanks. Here is what I found:

Dear girlfriend,
Please forgive me. I just bought a ring. I'm afraid to give it to you, because I know eventually you will die, which will break my heart. 
Love, boyfriend
Dear England,
I guess I don't receive mail from you - first my Hogwarts letter and now my invitation to the Royal wedding.
Sincerely, still waiting.

Dear Boyfriend,
Please don't act so surprised when I hint at marriage and children. I'm 35 and we've been dating for six years. Time is running out!
Sincerely, tired of going to my friend's weddings and baby showers.

Dear Dad,
Please give me more than 24 hours notice if you want me to make it to your wedding.
Sincerely, You Are Ridiculous
Dear Obsessive Newly Engaged Women,
Please stop talking about your dress, flowers, location, honeymoon, decor, invitations, shoes, food, etc. I don't care and I'm only coming to your wedding for the free food.
Sincerely, Single and Loving It

What funny Fill in the Blanks would you make up? Wedding inspired or not?